Eliza and Monica / Act One Ė Scene Four

Act One Ė Scene Four

MONICA: Eliza.

ELIZA: What Miss Lewinsky? You poor thing.

MONICA: You will never believe me. I didnít believe it myself, at first.

ELIZA: What is it now?

MONICA: I met this guy.

ELIZA (rapidly): A guy! See, I told you there were plenty of blokes in London and youíd find one in no time. Whatís his name? Whatís his name?

MONICA: Robbie - 

ELIZA: Ohhhh! Like Robbie Williams. 

MONICA:  No, his name is Robbie MacAllister.

ELIZA: But itís still like Robbie Williams.

MONICA: Whoís Robbie Williams?

ELIZA: You canít be serious? They donít have Robbie in the States?

MONICA:  Who is he?

ELIZA: Big singer. That boy drives everyone crazy. They say heís for the teeny-bopper crowd, but I totally love him. Itís embarrassing sometimes. Men- most men think heís stupid. But everyone knows Robbie Williams; just thought you should be in the know. So is your chap hot? 

MONICA:  Oh, heís cute.

ELIZA: Cute? Come on, now. Is he hot?

MONICA: Hot, yeah.

ELIZA: Fantastic!

MONICA: Weíre going to a party tomorrow night.

ELIZA: What kind of a party is it? Business? Birthday party?

MONICA: He didnít say. I asked what type of party it was and all he said was that alcoholic beverages might be served.

ELIZA: Robbie sounds a little discreet. Youíll have to tell me how it goes.

MONICA: So tell me other names and stuff I need to know in London. You know Iím completely clueless.  I canít believe Robbie Williams is the biggest pop star if Iíve never heard him.

ELIZA: Well I donít know. Robbie is the hottest pop singer we have. You have to be completely removed from the world not to know Robbie. You know Tony Blair?

MONICA: Yes. I know the Prime Minister.  

ELIZA: And Sherry?


ELIZA: Ah, but you donít know the Prime Ministerís wife. Tony and Sherry. Like Bill and Hillary. I know about your culture, but you-

MONICA: Of course, itís George and Laura now.

ELIZA: Who cares! Oh! You have to know Cafť Concerto. They have the most stunning cake.  I have to take you there.


ELIZA: Plus thereís the Bram Stoker Tavern, the Moon under Water Pub, the Pitcher and the Piano Pub off Dean Street.

MONICA: Alright, I get the point.

ELIZA: You donít go out enough to catch all the different pubs. Youíre going to go back to the States and youíll have completely missed out.