Poetry

Able to Survive
We're not talking about
A normal situation
Black shadows cover my opalescent heart
So you can't see

There's only one way to escape
The overwhelming pain
But why give up now?
I'm only three feet from relief

        hope whispers a gentle word
        faith clashes with the opposing darkness
        and I'm able to survive

Your mercy is 
New every morning
But mistakes are hiding
Under the surface of success

I tumble over
Disoriented by my fall
I'm not sure I can go on
With my weariness


        hope whispers a gentle word
        faith clashes with the opposing darkness
        I'm able to survive

Your strength is there 
To carry me
Beyond the fire
Past where I can see

And if doubt should come 
To take me away
I'll hold on to truth 
Calling Your name

        and hope whispers a gentle word
        faith clashes with the opposing darkness
        and I am able to survive

-Allison, 9/98

Interesting Story

Gigantic burning furnaces
A billion light years away
I'm not sure if those stars
Are the campfires the gods made

What goes up must come down
Unless it goes far enough
And escapes to where I am bound


Trying to be open-minded
When I've already found the truth
And somehow deception
Will then try to break through

He says that's the way it is
Can't change because he's tried
So will I shun him or listn in case
    he knows something I need to find


Information travels so fast
I couldn't keep up with it if I wanted to
Haven't enough time, wonder what I should do

In my spare time...
I could write pages to publish somewhere
And I'd hope I could meet you there


I'll take an educated guess
Until I find the answer
If it ever comes, or
If anyone will confess

I observe what you're doing
It doesn't look scientific to me
Though you're using the scientific method
 

You want me to be impressed
With your explanation of truth
But you're wrong although I won't say so

It might be a lesson to be learned
A prerequisite for the future or
Just an interesting story

8/98

Mystery of Christ

Look into my eyes
Watch for the tears or a sparkle of laughter
Look into my heart
See the despair I battle with
The burden you've cause that I long to forgive

My words only fall
Like the angels that tried to rise above
Here I am held by
All of the things I'm not sure of
But I'm reaching and looking into
The sweet mystery of Christ

8/19/98

 
So Deep

I've highlighted judment
While considering mercy
Contemplated justice
When forgiveness was required

The answers seemed so clear
But I don't really know now
I pray for rest from my humanness
I'm so weak and so tired

I'm restless from seeking You
I don't know what to do
Forgive the errors I've made unconciously
And never, oh never abandon me

So love is essential
No one is exempt
From needing to see kindness
He bestows to those who need

I see your bitter heart engulfed
With unforgiveness stored deep
So deep you have the dangerous excuse
To keep it and not let it go

Oh dear Lord see my heart
It's falling apart with grief
I need relief from these feelings of fear
Or failure should find me here

I have no love inside of me
My past lies in front of me
I cannot speak but with Your words
I pray You will be heard

7/16/98


You Did Not Know

I could leave this place without
Ever looking behind
There are so many things
I have yet to find

I'm searching for the right phrase
To express my fear
But if tomorrow should come
It will not find me here

Until you spoke those words
I felt alone
You said what I felt
Though you did not know

7/14/98

Rise

Fine line between insight and deception
What I think is often what I fail to mention
I rise to find life different than my dreams
I only hope not to fall like the autumn leaves


What To Do With Truth
 
It lies there in the open
But they can't see
They're caught in the
Habit of mendacity

Quixotic daydreams
Fill their airy minds
They're looking to
Live for a good time

We can't get rid of the fools
We forgot what we knew
We can't stay here
Because failure moves near

They don't know what to do with truth
So they leave it alone
They consider making a profit with it
But its market lies unknown
To them

6/98


Which Way the Wind Blows

I stop asking questions for the sake of looking intelligent
And I keep missing someone I've never met
I turn from the unmerciful sun
And hope my life has not just begun

Quiet dusk
Fading shadows
I've forgotten

I cease looking for synonyms of love
I will know it when it comes
I know my feelings, feel what I know
I'm afraid to stay and I fear to go

Quiet dusk
Fading shadows
I've forgotten

You keep me in Your hand yet I fear getting lost
I only have my memories, and they amused and taunt
My whimsical aspirations
My unsettled contemplations

Quiet dusk
Fading shadows
I've forgotten
Which way the wind blows

6/98

Yet To Overcome

I have so many thoughts I don't know how to express
I have so many things I don't want to confess
And sometimes it's me, that wants to stir controversy
And sometimes it's You, carrying me through

Is there an answer or a question I must face
Will there come a time when my fears will be allayed
I reach for something higher than the average dream
But my passion comes, and then suddenly it leaves

There is laughter waiting in my heart
There are tears left to be cried
Yesterday I felt like living
And today I want to die
But I see the beauty you've given my life
And the despair doesn't lift overnight

But I won't let my emotions run me
When I can't think clearly
There are things yet to be learned
And sorrows yet to overcome

6/29/98